Friday, February 1, 2008

it's february....

First, a photo. I did a photo shoot on Sunday outside. It was about 30 degrees out and there was ice and some snow on the ground. I had to do the shoot then because I need the images for the medieval series for March. I froze but tried not to think about it. My hands and feet had no feeling in them for about 20 minutes and then for another 5 once we got back in the car but I think it was worth it.

By the way, the soft focus occurred by a filter I had on my lens that had clear nail polish on it. The only enhancement here is the sepia tone a la Photoshop.

Now I'd like to add some excerpts from my analog journal that I did while I waited to be called for jury duty.

In my own statements regarding digital vs. film photography, these are my thoughts. You can either share them or debate them, it's fine.

I don't shoot digitally for my serious work because I like the anticipation building up of what I will see when I develop the film. If I get one great shot on the roll of film, I am happy, however, I have frequently gone back to film from past, looking at images that I thought of as rejects at the time, or images that I have simply overlooked. I may print it now, looking at it much differently. One wouldn't do that with digital, unless one saves every single frame one shoots, which rarely happens. The convenience of digital shooting is the ability to delete. Deletion is also often done too quickly, without much thought, though. Sometimes that can be instinctual and a good thing, but then one never knows...

There are times when I really rather feel the camera in my hands; the physicality of "shooting", rather than setting the camera up on a tripod and using a cable release. I still enjoy photographing others. Looking through the viewfinder at someone's face, allows me the freedom to stare and admire. I can study expressions, mouth movements, lines and wrinkles without appearing as a "weirdo". Photography seems to be a legitimate form of voyeurism. People tend to feel uncomfortable when you look at them, but can feel good and confident when a camera is pointed at them. They suddenly feel some sense of worth. I tend do think that way when I am photographed.

I may have posted this but I will write it again:

Some honest reasons why I photograph myself:

I am interested in interpreting things in my life in a romantic, dramatic, beautiful way. I want to pose and be "different" than I am every day. It's also somewhat easier to be my own model. I am readily available and I don't have to give direction or explain my motives (unless I am with other models). I know what I look like, for the most part, and what would or would not work photographically. Having said that, I am also intrigued by what I do discover in expressions and poses that I feel and instinctively make and am unaware of until I see the image.

Before I can begin to understand those people around me, I need to understand myself. There is certainly an amount of vanity and ego involved that makes the act of photographing myself not just important, but essential to my well-being. It sates my need for attention. I feel I can photograph and exhibit myself to gain a certain amount of respect and artistic credibility. There is that validation and justification of it.

Are my images too sweet? Perhaps on the surface, they are. Looking deeper, I see more. I believe others do as well. In all of the reviews I've had of my work, the common denominator has been surprise and pleasantly shocked at the beauty from such a large woman. Yes, that is the initial response, but now that much of my work is not necessarily nude, I do hope reviewers probe deeper.

More to come soon. I am in the process of a few more medieval pieces before the Houston trip. I keep saying that I will end the series with 20 but I'm not sure the word "end" is appropriate. I still think I need to resolve things and Goddess knows that life does not get resolved in just 2 years :)