Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I haven't had the desire to develop these last 3 rolls of film that I shot last week. Perhaps this really is it to the "Not Wonderland" series......thoughts include, "am I stopping too soon?" "did I fail at digging deeper?" However, I started to feel my ideas were getting sillier as time went on and every time I look at the work, I don't really know what else I could say about it. Then I suppose I've made the right decision to end it now.

Today, I applied for a grant sponsored by the Women in Photography based here in NY, funded by LTI / Lightside Photographic Service. The main award is $3000 and is to fund one woman photographers' project. Another award is $1000 in Kodak materials. Naturally, the first award is the more favorable of the two. I get sick to my stomach and become so negative every time I apply for one of these. Up until now, my negativity was reinforced by the rejections. The only grant I was ever awarded was a $600 one that was not based on merit but by need. This one, as have the others been, is based on strength of project. I applied to help support the new "Angels" series. Image transfers on aluminum will be an expense and after looking at the images, I felt the queasiness start.

Then I convince myself that if I don't get it, it's not a big deal. Lots of women photographers are applying, it only cost $20 to submit, and there are always other opportunities.....still, the ugly voices are inside my head and it's tough to get them out. Notifications are not until September 1 so there is no use getting stressed for 2 months.

Perhaps it's time to just sit back and relax.....

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A reflection with a little whine

I have been attempting to conclude my "Not Wonderland" series but one of the problems I have is the strong desire not to photograph in public spaces. If they are isolated, that is fine and perfect, but when there are people, specifically, LOTS of people, I stress out, lose focus and become drained rather quickly. I have felt that way when photographing in general. So imagine the challenge of being photographer and model as, mix in adding more models and then having to make sure we are not seen. It is a lot of pressure for me. Nobody is ever fully nude when I shoot in public, but we are partially so, and to a point where I can see it being a problem for me if bystanders were to come, watch and/or report. When I work in isolation, I am much calmer and can really concentrate on what I am trying to say.

This is it. I shot 3 rolls of film today. If I get nothing, so be it. If I get something, a bonus. Whatever the outcome, I am officially done with "Not Wonderland".

Friday, June 4, 2010

New work

I was going to wait until the images were completed, but I am excited to share these -


please copy and paste into your browser. For some reason, the link button never worked for me here.


Tuesday, June 1, 2010

life got in the way

The last few months has brought quite a bit of illness and death in my family, so when I haven't been exhibiting and/or speaking, I have been dealing with that. I have been struggling to create in between it all and I have a few new images I am working on. I am bouncing between a series of saint-related work, and the Not Wonderland series. I hope to conclude Not Wonderland in the next several weeks but here are 2 images from the saint work. One is a re-work and I like this treatment much more than the original, I think.

Here is a photo my friend Chris took of my models and me the other day when I did a shoot, mainly for fun. I honestly need to stick with the urban surroundings but this location always calls to me. Note the purple Holga - camera of choice for the last year and a half :)

In the meantime, I have also reworked my Blurb book including some Not Wonderland photos. Order your copy today!