Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Relationships and Love for Convenience

I was watching an old episode of the TV show "Friends" the other day. One of the main male characters was complaining about how he met the perfect woman but she lived 2 hours away - so so far away. I then read a LiveJournal comment from an online friend of mine about how he is on an online dating site which has been failing as he gets many people contacting him from other countries and that he is not about to get a green card to date someone.

These are really interesting examples of how people meet and fall in love with each other. Do people really fall in love with someone who happens to live nearby or is it just convenience? Sure, he/she seems great but is it possible that somewhere in their subconscious that the need to look for someone "perfect"  doesn't go beyond his/her backyard?

Please, do not get me wrong. I am guessing this is the majority of our society unless you meet in a university, peace corps or some other unconventional way but the norm seems that we don't want to look for someone somewhere far.

I had many relationships in my life, including a first marriage to all men that were local to me. Looking back at all of them, I can say that I wasn't in love with any of them but that I settled because one - I thought that was the best I could do and two - they were close. 

Having a long-distance relationship is far from easy though but I think the idea that your soulmate could possibly live in another state, another country should open people's minds a bit. 

 I met my dearest husband online 10 years ago but with absolutely no intent of love or relationship more than friendship. He was in France and I in New York also. I was married to someone else during that time and was living a different life. I traveled overseas only once at that point and I didn't see more than the life that was in front of me. I was also never interested in living in France (England and Ireland yes but no other country). So, how does someone like me end up living in France and marrying her soulmate? It was easy for me. No, not the journey I had to take (and am still on) to be here, but the decision. I knew. My grandparents and many older, wiser peers I have met over the years told me that when you meet the right person, you just know. I always thought that was BS or at least that it would never happen to me, but it did and I am blessed to have finally found him.

So back to the question at hand - if that is indeed the case - knowing when you have the right person - why do so many people base it on distance and convenience of location? What if you *think* on a conscious level that it is, but in reality, your soulmate is in Asia, England, or even 2 U.S. states away from you?

And maybe it's a fate thing..maybe none of where the person is from matters...either way, it is possible to look beyond your fence to get what you want when it comes to love.

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